The parenting experience is constantly said to be a “gift,” but let’s have it straight: the bone-deep exhaustion is not something that is presented to you. Being tired after a hard-working day and feeling emptied in your inside are two things that are very different from each other. When you are on low fuel most of the time and become indifferent to your kids, this is what parental burnout means. The worst part of it, however, is that notwithstanding the terrible feeling it produces at the moment, this kind of situation unfolds quietly, and eventually, it becomes a big mess for your family.
Your Body Keeps the Score
Sometimes people live in their survival mode for months, and in the end, their bodies cannot cope with it any longer. Living with chronic stress keeps your cortisol levels elevated, which results in your health deteriorating. You may notice that you are constantly catching colds that the children bring from school, and at the same time, you may have headaches and stomach knots that are always with you.
Most of the time, sleep is the first victim when it is suffering from a problem. You may be lying alone in bed with your thoughts going on and on at 3 a.m., or you may not be able to get out of bed, as it seems that facing the day is too difficult. The thing works like a circle of mutual dependence: you are too exhausted to take care of your nutrition or to exercise, and this only contributes to your tiredness.
Domestic Disagreements
The emotional numbness experienced by you is not something that you keep to yourself only; it is gradually understood by people around you. It could be that your short temper is something you are hardly aware of – being quick to snap at your partner over a pile of dirty dishes or getting very angry when your child is unable to find their shoes. All of a sudden, the home, which used to be your haven, is filled with tension and silence as everyone is extremely careful.
Children are far more perceptive than adults give them credit for. They sense the disconnect and, most of the time, they think it is their fault. They could begin misbehaving just to get your attention. At that point, the guilt consumes you, which leads to a deeper burnout spiral.
When Copping Goes Wrong
The most perilous spiraling is the one that happens when burnout changes to actual depression or anxiety. Along with those, you also feel trapped, ineffective, and hopeless. To deaden that feeling or just survive until the next day, it is quite common to start using that additional glass of wine or other unhealthy habits.
That is the point where one should be really cautious. In case you discover that you need substances in order to get through the day, it is the hour of professional help. It doesn’t matter whether it is therapy or a treatment center; dealing with addiction and co-occurring mental health conditions is necessary for coming back to a healthier place. A help call is not a sign of weakness; rather, it’s support.
Work Also Suffers
Fatigue cannot be switched off at the time of work. Even at work, burnout follows you, thus killing your focus and making you incapable of meeting deadlines. If stress at home takes over your thoughts, you cannot work at your job, thus putting your financial security at risk, which in turn adds more stress to you.
Burnout recognition is not a failure; it is like a driver seeing warning lights on his dashboard. The decline in health and relationship troubles is not inevitable if you realize this problem early. Taking a break, asking for support, or consulting a psychologist works as a circuit breaker. You are not selfish when you take care of yourself, but you are actually making sure that you can show up for the people who are in need of you. It is the only way to avert the spiral from dragging down the whole family with you.